A Reason

A Special Child (Author Unknown)

A meeting was held quite far from earth.
It's time again for another birth,
Said the angels to the Lord above.
This special child will need much love.
His progress may seem very slow;
accomplishments he may not show.
And he'll require much extra care
from all the folks he meets down there.
He may not laugh or run or play
and his thoughts may seem far away.
In many ways, he won't adapt
and he'll be known as handicapped.
So let's be careful where he's sent.
We want his life to be content.
Please Lord, find the parents
who will do this special job for you.
They will not realize right away
the leading role they're asked to play,
but with this child from above
comes stronger faith and richer love.
And soon they'll know the privilege
given in caring for this gift from heaven.
Their precious child so meek and mild
is heaven's very special child.

I remember one day we were sitting at a table in Applebees.  Austin was still a baby and my mom said to me.  He is here for a reason.  I completely believe everything happens for a reason.  And from that moment on I always think about how important this little boy is and what a profound difference he has made on all of our lives already.  This amazing little boy has kept our family together.  If he wasn't here through all the bad stuff that has gone on we wouldn't be where we are today.  He is on the front of my mind for every decision I make in life.  He has changed me for the better.  

I read the above poem and starting sobbing.  As much as this situation sux, God chose me to take care of this very special child.  That is a true blessing.  And not only did he choose me, but all of you too!  We were all chosen to be here for this little guy and give him the love he needs and forever be changed for the better because of him.  

Some days are really hard.  I keep thinking how much more can we take?  I know God only gives you what he knows you can handle, but some days it's too much.  Austin already has to grow up without a father, wasn't that enough?  Austin has had people walk out on him, wasn't that enough?  He has been through so many medical tests and procedures.  And the biggest blow of all...a fatal genetic disease.  Just typing that kills me.  I don't talk about that part much.  It's too hard.  I don't know how to deal with it. 

I'm trying to learn to live each day one at a time.  Trying to find the joy in every day and make sure I spend as much time as I can with my little guy.  He is so persistent and determined and smart.  I know that he will do something great and he was put here for a reason.   I hope as he grows he changes lives and touches peoples hearts.  He has already done that for me.