Anniversary

Today is an anniversary of sorts.  And it's not exactly a happy one.  One year ago today I learned of Austin's Muscular Dystrophy Diagnosis.


It started out like any other day.  We headed to our first visit to the neuroscience clinic at Arkansas Children's Hospital.  I knew they had found something in his latest labs, but this was just another doctor on the quest to find out what was wrong with my little guy.  I had no idea what was to come.

 I took this picture at the doctors office right before his diagnosis

We waited a very long time to see the doctor.  The nice nurse brought Austin some snacks. I was anxious like I always was at his appointments, but I didn't expect to have any answers.  We never had answers. The nice doctor came in and asked me a few questions and examined Austin and said he has Muscular Dystrophy.  My heart sank.  This was before I even knew much about it.  I tried soooooo hard not to cry.  Austin was there watching me and I had to be strong.  After some more talk the doctor said we would do a pulmonary function test (which must be repeated annually), an echo (to be repeated twice a year), and some lab work to confirm which type he had.  Devastated.  I was devastated.  I wanted so badly to believe they were wrong again.  The doctors had been wrong before. Surely this was just another misdiagnosis.  But I knew in my heart this was this answer.  The answer we had been searching for for so long. When the doctor left to schedule the tests the MDA lady (as I call her) Carolyn came in to talk to me.  She handed me a bunch of pamphlets and her card and started telling me about support groups and opportunities.  That's when I finally lost it.  I couldn't help but cry and she just hugged me.  It's what I needed at the time.  That wonderful lady would come to be a friend of mine and a huge help over the last year.

I had been texting my mom and Cheryl what the doctor was saying.  Jim, Cheryl, and Kendyl happened to be in Little Rock that day and offered to come up to the hospital to stay with me.  Of course, I said no at first.  That I was fine.  But Cheryl knows me better than that and insisted they would come.  It helped a lot.  Just to see them and hug them.

It's a day that I will never forget.  It's the day that changed our lives forever. For years I wanted to find answers to what was causing Austin's liver problems.  We searched and searched and saw doctor after doctor with no luck.  Then I got the answers I had been searching for and all I wished for was to go back.  I wished I didn't know the answer.  Some days I still wish that.  Ignorance is bliss right?  But the truth is you can't ever go back so we will just keep moving forward step by step and keep fighting for his life.